A Web Series in Several Iterations
Brenda & Kitty – Part 3

Brenda & Kitty – Part 3 was filmed during the time between doing The X Factor auditions and finding out that we had been busted. Kitty came up with the idea of filming at the St Werburgh’s Art Trail during the late Spring of 2011. It was to be the last completed part of the Brenda episode to date. The story is, so far, incomplete but I do have a treatment for a further cycle of Brenda films that completes the story, so watch this space.
Kitty had begun to take her role quite seriously and was getting into some method acting around her feelings towards me and Tristram. Tensions were also mounting between the group of us around what was going to happen with The X Factor auditions. This meant that many of the bad feelings depicted in Episode 3 were absolutely real.
The highlight of this episode for me was crashing uninvited into Alexandra Lucas’s house and her not batting an eyelid as Ken came into her home and berated her incredible artwork for being wonky. I was also very pleased with Tristram, Kitty and my performances throughout and my “Bin Art” performance is my favourite piece of acting/improv by me.
When Kitty walked off at the end of this episode, it was the last time I saw her as part of this project. Getting busted by X Factor sealed the deal and This is Brenda was dead in the water.
Brenda had a few more goes out. Zibi and I made some videos of Brenda making spiced apple chutney and crab apple jelly:
One more outing for Brenda of note was the last time either of us got properly fucked up on booze and who knows what else. It was my sister’s birthday party at Hatfield Court in Shropshire. Both Brenda and I were three sheets to the wind and there was a group of feminists there doing a circle called “Reclaim Cunt!”This essentially meant that women sat in a circle, clapped their hands and chanted the word over and over again. Brenda decided to get in on the action as she completely agreed that this word needed to be reclaimed. She grabbed the mic from the compere:
“Yeah, reclaim cunt!” She said. “I’m a cunt! You’re a cunt! We’re all fucking cunts!” The compere looked horrified as Brenda started to chant “Fucking cunt! Fucking cunt!” and everybody else joined in, smiling.
“I think,” she said, tersely, as she tried to wrestle the mic from my hand. “I think Brenda has somewhat missed the point.”
“No, you’ve missed the point!” Brenda replied as she snatched the mic back from her and ran away yelling “Fucking cunt!” over and over again.

Both Brenda and Simon suffered a two month hangover/comedown/depression that made the pair of them swear off drink for life. A good thing for both of them.